im too bizi with nothing & everything.at the same level,i felt sick with this life.im tired enuff with all this stuff.should i leave all i had or just quit what i do now.its seem like stuck at the same phase,level,position..or,just name it ! its all same almost everyday ! its hurt.dunno how to express the true feeling.
today,im still shocking with the death of Rizal.i dunno to describe how BIG the feeling are.how shock to received this news.but kan,brt mata memandang..there is more painful to accept the reality.but,this is the faith or the correct terms is menerima takdir Allah..Qada & Qadar dr Nya.easy to say that,hurghhhh ???
did im not thank to God with all this gift ? all this good things in life.its so complicated to explain.its hard,too hard.what i should do is,just keep in silence.as usual.full stop,fool ! i dont want to mess with anybody.malas.benci.i dont want this penyakit hati to stop me to do good things in life.life is short.use it for the good way.wahh..again,so easy to talk kn ?? hehehe.
dunnolah,why everytime demons always knocking my heart.to say that,its not good enuff for me.i should be serve better.i should get more that this.is this what we called greedy ? this is not demons,this is shit.hahaha.lancau.suddenly,i juz remember Marilyn Monroe.her very classic death ! she put on herself make-up,very glam beautiful dress then she overdosed herself.what she get ? she got NOTHING ! repeat..NOTHING except NAME.well,its got nothing to do with me.hahaha.
this is a photo from Kosmo.Al-Fatihah to my late fren,Rizal.
terlalu byk cerita yg aku nak cerita.tp,rase malas sgt nk update.bizi dgn kerja.bizi dgn ntah apa-apa ntah.
semlm pg kenduri umah Zila.jumpa ler kwn-kwn lama.Zila,Sinar,Nanie,Linda,Ayang,Fairuz.then,jumpa gak ler laki Sinar..si Ayie tuh.jejaka pojaan Gemencheh dulu.Then,laki Ayang..si Rizal.seriously,aku tak kenal Rizal nie.sbb dulu dia dok kelas bwh sket.kategori lemau ler nie.
then,today..Zila call aku.hubby Ayang,si Rizal tuh dh takde.meninggal dunia.lemas.Ya Allah,smlm baru jumpa..today dh takde.aku rase t'kejut sgt-sgt.well,bkn aku je yg t'kejut,aku rase everybody yg attend kenduri Zila semlm mesti t'kejut.MasyaAllah,Tuhan..begini besar ujian Mu pada hamba-hamba Mu.aku harap,Ayang tabah dengan dugaan yg dtg.
td,aku tak sempat nk attend kebumi arwah Rizal or visit Ayang.aku kena bwk mak check in to Hospital Seremban.utk kemo session.sian.dlm hati aku,mmg aku nk pg sgt-sgt,tp aku ade task yg menanti.cuma,timing je tak kena.so,esok mak akan wat kemo session.utk yg sekian kali.aku dh tak ingat.aku rase ini kali yg ke 7.ade 6 lagi session yang menanti.air mata ? dh habis nak menangis.hati aku ? tak blh nk ckp mcmane.she all i have.dia satu-satunya manusia yg aku rela ganti nyawa aku utk segala-galanya.mom,get well soon.love u.
gila kan ? lama giler aku tak update blog.aku pn tataw.ape yg aku wat.bizi sgt ke ? ke,wat2 bizi je.so much things happen in my life recently.dunno how to tell.even,memikirkannya pn aku takmo.so much complicated things around.too much fighting but too little understanding.its kindda of shit stuff.
khamis,nk pg Hospital Seremban.jaga mak for 2nd kemo session.kt Bukit Jalil,kena langgar blkg plak.sakitnya hati aku.dh ler aku nk rush,jd plak eksiden yg tak di ingini.ape nk wat kn ? menda nk jadik.
skrg bersiaran lgsg dr Hospital Tengku Jaafar,Seremban.baru kasik mak aku mkn,dia tgh tdo berdengkur kt sebelah.senang hati btl gayanya.tp,ok ler..dr last time kimo.sgt2 ler ssh hati dgn keadaan dia.skrg nie,kj dia asek mkn tido..tido mkn.pas tu membebel2 yg ntah ape2 ntah.aku iyerkn aje le.hehehe.
td gak,tibe2 Liza call.pelikkn ?? tibe2 dia ingat kt aku.hehehe.ini ler yg di katakan jodoh.esok,kalo ikot plan,nk p jumpa dia.insyaAllah.
